I believe that you should say “I love you” as much as possible. You will never regret saying it, but you will always regret not saying it. I know I regret not saying it enough. My grandmother was my best friend, I told her everything. We would talk on the phone every Sunday night for hours about how our weeks had gone. She knew everything about me, she knew me better than anyone else. I loved her so much, and I know she loved me too. We talked about my future all the time, graduating high school, starting college, getting married; we had my whole life planned out. She wanted to be there for it all, and I always thought she would be.
As I got older, I stopped talking to my grandma as much, I thought calling my friends or the boy I liked was “cooler” and more important than calling my grandma. That was one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. My grandma was a smoker and she was getting worse and I didn’t realize it because I was too busy to talk to her. I had no idea how sick she really was. When I had finally gone to see her for Christmas I was in shock at how frail she had become. She could no longer do anything for herself. I had to go home early that year because she couldn’t take care of me. That was the last time I saw her or talked to her. She passed away a couple days after I got home. I was too scared to call, and now I wish more than anything that I had called her so I could say “I love you” one more time.
Having my grandma pass away is the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with, and every day I regret that I stopped talking to her, and that I never really got the chance to say goodbye to her and that I did not get the chance to tell her that I love her one last time. Now I say it all the time to everyone. I want to make sure that everyone I love knows it because you never know when the last time you’ll get the chance to say it will be.
Hi Ashley:
ReplyDeleteNo post write?
I find the writing here to be clear and fluent. At times, you try for a nice, stylistic complexity--good.
Your statement of belief is clear, to be sure. Now, the story that you tell seems to be pointing to why or how you came to this belief. That seems reasonable and conforms to the assignment. I wonder, though, whether instead of summarizing you have your grandmother speak in her own voice, as it were, and with you, in dialogue--perhaps focusing on a single anecdotal moment, some point in time that represents your interaction. What do you think?
why the shift to "you"? You will never
no comma fault? She knew everything about me, she knew me better than anyone else. [although I like the repetition]
note unintentional? repetition of "and" here? and every day I regret that I stopped talking to her, and that I never really got t
you mean "everyone" whom you love, I assume? Now I say it all the time to everyone
Sorry I forgot to post the Post Write. Here it is.
ReplyDelete1. How do you feel about the paper so far? Please explain and offer evidence from the work.
So far I feel that I have made some progress with this paper. I added more to my introduction, and I tried to fix the paragraphs so they were not as confusing being half positive and half negative. I stated by belief clearly and I really tried to support it by showing why: “She passed away a couple days after I got home. I was too scared to call, and now I wish more than anything that I had called her so I could say “I love you” one more time.”
2. What remains to be done? Please be precise.
I do think that I could possibly make some more changes to the paper to try and make it flow a little better, more descriptive, and try to not repeat myself so much. I used the word and a lot. I should try and find a different way to word things so I do not have to use it so much.
3. What questions do you have for readers about the piece?
Is this clear enough? Are any parts of this confusing? Are the introduction and conclusion clear enough?
Talk Back
ReplyDelete1. Please summarize my comments.
My writing is clear and fluent, and my statement of belief is clear. My story explains how I came to my belief, but a conversation I had with my grandmother would be helpful. The shift to “you” was just a small grammatical error on my part. There was no comma fault when I said “She knew everything about me, she knew me better than I knew myself.” I was trying to use a little bit of repetition. The repetition of “and” was unintentional “and every day I regret that I stopped talking to her, and that I never really got to”. I should have said “and every day I regret that I stopped talking to her that I never really got to…” Yes I mean “everyone” whom I love.
2. Do you feel that I have missed something that should have been addressed? Is there something you think worked well but that I didn't comment on or are you unsure about how well something worked in your paper that you would like clarification about? Please explain.
The only thing I’m unsure of is my ending. Does it seem rushed, like I ended the paper too quickly?
3. Do you feel that you can take something of what you've learned from this assignment and transfer that lesson to other writing in this class or elsewhere? Please explain precisely what that transferable element might be?
I learned how to state my belief the correct and appropriate way. I will use this in this class and in other things when I need to make my beliefs known and understood.