I believe that you should say “I love you” as much as possible. You will never regret saying it, but you will always regret not saying it. I know I regret not saying it enough.
My grandmother was my best friend, I told her everything. We would talk on the phone every Sunday night for hours about how our weeks had gone. She knew everything about me, she knew me better than anyone else. I loved her so much, and I know she loved me too. We talked about my future all the time, graduating high school, starting college, getting married; we had my whole life planned out. She wanted to be there for it all, and I always thought she would be. But, my grandma was a smoker, and she just would not quit, no matter how much I begged her. She just kept on smoking, and the more she did the sicker she got. She acted like she didn’t care, so I did the same.
As I got older I started hanging out with my friends more and our weekly phone conversations became fewer. At the time I did not see it as a big deal. Now, looking back, it is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made in my life. I wish so much that I could go back and change things. I wish that I did not stop talking to her. I wish so much that I could just tell her that I love her and that I always will. Just after Christmas in 2006 she became very, very sick. I was there that year visiting, and I had to go back home early that year because she did not want me to be there when she passed away.
Having my grandma pass away is the hardest thing that I have ever had to deal with, and every day I regret that I stopped talking to her, and that I never really got the chance to say goodbye to her and that I did not get the chance to tell her that I love her one last time.
Thomas Dumont
ReplyDelete9/21/10
Peer Review for
Ashley Schader
“I Love You”
1.) The task to be completed was to type a double-spaced essay between 350 and 500 words, and it had to be on a core belief of your own. You have to give your belief a name, and tell a story or give an example as to how and why this belief came about. Show us why you chose this belief. Try to avoid preaching or editorializing to the reader, you’re not trying to convert anyone to your belief.
2.) My partner accomplished the task of typing a 350-500 word essay double-spaced. Her belief is, “you should say “I love you” as much possible.” There isn’t an actual name for the belief but she does sum it up in 1 or 2 sentences by saying “I believe that you should say “I love you” as much as possible.” Her example on why she chose this belief was a story about her Grandmother. In paragraph one she is shows how her Grandmother played a very important role in her life, “We talked about my future all the time, graduating high school, starting college, getting married; we had my whole life planned out.” I especially like how she describes the relationship that she and her Grandmother have also in paragraph one, “My grandmother was my best friend, I told her everything. We would talk on the phone every Sunday night for hours about how our weeks had gone. She knew everything about me, she knew me better than anyone else.” After reading this you really begin to understand how close the author was to her Grandmother.
3.) What isn’t working on this piece is at the ending of paragraph one. She begins the paragraph talking about all the good stuff between her and her Grandmother, but then ends on a bad note by saying, “But, my grandma was a smoker, and she just would not quit, no matter how much I begged her. She just kept on smoking, and the more she did the sicker she got. She acted like she didn’t care, so I did the same.” The first paragraph should continue with the same mood for the entire way through and then include that sentence at the beginning of the second paragraph.
4.) Why is the Introduction so small?
• After you tell the readers your belief, lead the readers into paragraph one by introducing your Grandmother into the intro so it won’t be longer and it will give us an idea as to what this story will be about.
Why is paragraph one half positive-half negative while paragraph two is all negative?
• It is a simple fix, take the last 3 sentences from the first paragraph and turn them into an opening for the second paragraph.